November 24, 2008

Smoking Ban...


I had this crazy idea the other day, that made absolutely no sense whatsoever, but I just had to share it with you all. Everyone is well aware of the smoking ban, and the fact that none of us smokers are allowed to smoke inside restaurants, bars, casino's, etc.
So, what if we all planned a day to meet in our respective cities at a central Village Inn location and, wait for it, wait for it...........
All lit up a cigarette, inside the restaurant, at the same time. I know we'd all end up getting kicked out of our respective Village Inn's, but it's not like the police are going to come out, and take all that time to give us all tickets. Plus, it would be a nice, happy, simple way of giving the smoking ban and all of it's supporters the finger, if only for a moment.
I know, as I stated above, it makes absolutely no sense. And, you know what ? I'm completely alright with that. Until next time, all my avid readers, I take a bow and let the invisible man with his invisible cane, drag me off the stage...

November 22, 2008

Inappropriate Behavior


Have you ever found yourself in a situation where you behavior is completely inappropriate for the situation your in ? I find as I'm getting older these situations are easier and easier to get into. For example; While in our 7 year old daughters elementary school, we're walking along, and she hands me her weekly behavior report.

A completely ordinary situation, right ? Except for what followed, of course. So, I take the report and look at it, it has a huge red X in one of the square for today, and I look down to see what comment the teacher has left to explain the big red X. It reads, "The student was jumping up on desks and playing tag", and that's when this situation became a moment of inappropriate behavior.

The first thought that hits me is that my wife is going to be pissed and we're going to have to ground our daughter for like a month. I than turn to my daughter, give her a look of complete disapproval, which she sheepishly responds to with her own look of "oh crap", and looking forward one single word escapes my lips. "F*#!"" and I don't say it that simply, it comes out more like " F*#!!!!!!!!!".

Those four simple letters, that just happen to rhyme with duck, and everyone is looking at me like I just took my pants off. I look apologetically at everyone around me, look down at the little kids just waiting to burst in to tears, the parents and the staff who want to kill me on the spot, and at my daughter who's giggling under her breath. This was one of those moments of inappropriate behavior.

Now, I want to hear yours, a time when you made a complete ass out of yourself in public.